I want to take a moment to wish everyone a Happy New Year! May 2017 be your year to be blessed with all the beautiful and wonderful things that life has to offer. Can this be the year there is peace and joy on this earth and we all prosper? This past year has been filled with enough negativity and hate. Happy New Year! God Bless You!
How many of you make new year's resolutions and stick to them? I use to when I was a kid because that's what we always did. The usual, do my homework on time, exercise and eat right. Those ideas still make me smile. I haven't made a new year's list in a long time. This year, I one resolution and it is to write more blog posts.
I haven't posted to my blog in well over a year (or two). My last real blog post was March 2015. My father wrote the Mother's Day tribute to his beautiful mom. I lost my words and found it very hard to post when my cousin Renee passed away in April 2015. It still hurts to this day but I remembered how she always shared every genealogy find with me. She never tired of hearing my endless stories and there were a lot of them. :) She never once said when are you going to finish. She always seemed as excited as I was with every new thing I learned about our family. So today, My New Year's resolution to find my words and come back to writing my blog.
I do plan on writing a post about Renee soon. She was so much to so many people. I pray every day for her family. My heart still hurts when I think about her so I can only imagine how they're feeling. Just typing her name in this post was hard. I don't know if the pain I feel well ever dissipate (everyone says it will) but I do know that it's time I found my way back home.
I love you Renee and I miss you every day. Your passing has left a hole in my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think about all the should-haves and could-haves. You were more than just my cousin, you were my sister, my friend and my confidante (we laughed so much). I feel so blessed to have been able to share our lives together. I'm finally able to smile more when I think about you. I will remember you forever. God Bless You always. Love your cousin Neet/Nita.
Mothers mean the world to their children. The bond/relationship between them is very special. My grandmother Edna was a very, very special woman. She loved hard and cared deeply for her children (grandchildren/great-grandchildren). She also sacrificed many things to give the best to them. On this Mother's Day, I would like to take this opportunity to let her know how much she was loved. She was the kindest, funniest woman, who was also a great cook. She could fix anything from scratch (she used to laugh sweetly at me for having to measure my ingredients).
There is nothing in the world like a mother's love. On this Mother's Day, I want to give thanks and send love to my grandmother in heaven. We were so blessed to have her in our lives. Her legacy lives on in all of us.
My father, called "Junior" by his mother was the apple of her eye. She loved him dearly and was very proud of him. I think she also spoiled him a bit. :) I asked him to write something about her for this post. Read in his own words, his special take on the poem "M-O-T-H-E-R" by Howard Johnson. I call it "Ode to Mama".
M-O-T-H-E-R
"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER"
A word that means the world to me. ~Howard Johnson
MAMA
M ~ Is for the million things she gave me...
Of course, she gave me life and taught me how to respect and how to appreciate it. She once said, "even a dog deserves respect because it's living just like you".
O ~ Means only that she's growing old...
Growing old was not in her, and I'm praying that I have her genes. Up until she left us, she was always spry and chipper. She hid her age very well.
T ~ Is for the tears she shed to save me...
Shedding tears I will never forget, It was the day I left for the military. It was almost like a scene out of a movie. She was standing on the station platform crying as the train pulled put, getting smaller and smaller until she disappeared. I tried to be a man, but I also shed a tear.
H ~ Is for her heart of purest gold...
What more can you say? I don't think anyone could ever say a bad word about my Mother. She loved everyone and would do just about anything for anyone, even if they were not family.
E ~ Is for her eyes, with love-light shining...
Eyes I made cry when she found out I got in trouble with the law. After seeing her face and seeing her crying, I swore to myself I would never do anything to make her cry again.
R ~ Means right, and right she'll always be...
Yes, she was always right. Even today, I do the things she emphasized that is right to do. There is a famous saying that she used and instilled in us, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Put them all together and they spell MOTHER
A Word That Means The World To Me...
For me, you put them all together and they spell MAMA, and that's the Word that means the world to me.
Sources Johnson, Howard. Meaning of Mother. Retrieved from http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Holidays/Mothers-Day/Inspirational-Quotes-About-Mothers.aspx?p=2 Multiplicityme2too (2012, September 24). Kem A Mother's Love. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHDW9ie59pg
As a descendant of slaves, I have struggled to find information on my enslaved ancestors. For me, this information has been hard to come by because slaves were rarely mentioned by name.Even on the slave census schedules, you will mostly find the name of the slave owner with the slaves listed only by age and gender. I know a few people who have been fortunate enough to come across a slave census that lists the names of their enslaved ancestors (lucky them). Heck you might even get lucky like I did and find a mention of your ancestor in a newspaper article (Saw George Washington). There are other documents such as wills or court records that list the names of the enslaved. The one problem with that documentation is not every has access. Thanks to a newly developed project that is about to change. I am excited, honored and proud to introduce The Slave Name Project.
The Slave Name Roll Project, formulated by +Schalene Dagutis, is the result of an idea she had based on +Cathy Meder-Dempsey's three-part post about slaves listed in her ancestor's will. The goal of this project is to make the names of the slaves and owners available to the descendants. This accessibility will enable descendants find their ancestors through a search engine on the internet and perhaps break down a brick wall in their genealogy research.
The inspiration behind the Slave Name Roll is Cathy's post "Black History Month: The Slaves of James SIMS, Part 1". I find it fitting that Cathy's blog is titled Opening Doors In Brick Walls because it is through her three-part post that she will be "opening doors" for others. Please take a minute to read her brilliant post (this series is in three parts). She has done an amazing job researching and sharing valuable information/documents about her ancestors and the people they enslaved.
The creator of this amazing project Schalene is also the author of a great family history blog named "Tangled Roots and Trees". Here is her post on the Slave Name Project. It is because of her that so many people are now sharing their ancestors personal information. Information that they may have kept hidden because they were ashamed to learn that their ancestors were slave owners. These slaves deserved to known and through this project their names will be honored/documented and remembered for all to see.
Thank you. Schalene and Cathy for leading the way on this project. I admire you both for having the courage to start this dialog. You both wrote about slave owners in your family's history, a history that so many of us in this country share. It is my hope that others who share that history follow your example and join this project. The Slave Name Roll ensures the names of those enslaved will be remembered. I am so excited about this project.
I cannot wait to hear about the first person who finds their ancestors and breaks through a brick wall.
Source The Waterloo Press in Waterloo_Indiana on Thu, Feb 22, 1912 http://www.newspapers.com/clip/228702/the_waterloo_press/
True's post got me thinking about the things I collected in my youth. This is a little overdue but here is my response to the question.
In addition to the books I collected, I also have a binder filled with cartoons, newspaper clippings, photos from magazines and ticket stubs/programs of plays I saw as a kid.
I have to thank my mother Ella Allen for instilling in me a love of the theater. She took me to so many plays when I was a kid and she taught me that when it comes to perfume less is definitely more. :)
My Collections:
Books: I read a lot as a child. You name it, I have probably read it. From "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, Gone with the Wind (which took me 3 days), Marathon Man, The Stepford Wives, Up the Down Staircase, Freaky Friday, All the President's Men, Go Ask Alice, Nancy Drew The Other Side of Midnight to Resurrection by Tolstoy (just to name a few). One family that I babysat for always paid me in books.
Cartoons: Bloom County, Doonsbury, Garfield, Pot Shot, Tank McNamara, The Lockhorns and Wee Pals
Concerts: The Jackson Five (Bill Withers opened), Huey Lewis and the News (Adrenaline (sp?) local band opened), The Police (Joan Jett and The Blackhearts opened)
Letters:Every letter that was written to me
Performances: Bob Fosse's Dancin', Alvin Ailey's American Dance Theater
Photos (cut our from magazines): A few childhood crushes
Plays: Man of La Mancha, The Wiz, They're Playing Our Song, Your Arms Too Short To Box With God (I still have these albums)
Few things from my collection book:
I haven't looked in my "collection binder" in a long time. Thanks to True's post inspired by Randy's challenge I've taken a fun trip down memory lane. If you'd like to add your collection, click on True's or Randy's link in the first paragraph. Looking forward to readying what you save as a youth.
Gloria Hurston was born December 7, 1941 to Leroy and Nona Hurston. She was their third child and second daughter. Gloria would only live for seven months, she died July 9, 1942
Leroy and Nona left Standing Rock, Alabama and moved to Detroit, Michigan sometime between 1936 and 1940 with their two children, Clarence (b. 1933) and Rosalind (b. 1935). They lived with Nona's sister Rebecca and her husband Clem Montgomery. Rebecca's house was the one that everyone from down South stayed.
The only picture that I have ever seen of Gloria was taken on a family outing to Bell Isle Park in 1942. She is in the picture with her sister and parents. I'm not sure why her brother is missing from the photo. The one thing that haunts me is knowing that Gloria died shortly after this picture was taken.
The one thing I found odd was Gloria's death is listed in the Georgia index not Michigan. I haven't been able to verify it yet but I believe they sent Gloria's body back to La Grange, Georgia which is where Nona's family lived. I'm hoping all this will be cleared up when I get her death certificate. Rest in peace Gloria. She was such a beautiful baby.
"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you". ~ Maori Proverb
When you first meet Lisa aka Sweetluv, you are immediately taken in by her beautiful smile, boundless energy and can-do attitude. If you didn't know her story, you would never know that she is a breast cancer survivor. This interview is to raise awareness about breast cancer from a survivor's viewpoint. You will read about her journey, how she fought the disease and what advice she has for others fighting this disease.
How did you find out you have breast cancer?
I was suppose to have a mammogram when I turned 40. I skipped it for two years until a friend convinced me to get one. It was nothing I could have felt for, only a mammogram could detect it. I was diagnosed with Stage 3.
Is there a family history of breast cancer?
My grandmother had it.
What were your main concerns after being diagnosed?
I was afraid of dying and leaving my 8 year old daughter. How did you did you cope emotionally?
I focused on God and God's purpose for me. I knew I had to be strong if I wanted to be around for my daughter.
How did you and your family react to the news? I was scared. I thought it was a death sentence. My family took it as a fight that we were going to win. If they were scared, they didn't show it.
Did you have a support network?
I had a huge network of friends, family and strangers that just wanted to help. I felt and still feel truly blessed.
Did you feel apprehensive about chemotherapy?
I saw so many movies and even worked in an oncology clinic. I saw so many patients get sick from chemo. I feel like that experience prepared me mentally for the worse.
Why did you decide to cut your hair?
I was told after my first chemo treatment that my hair would start falling out. I didn't want my diagnosis to control everything, so I cut it before it started falling out. I had over 75 family and friends crowded into the barbershop to watch as I got my locs cut. Reality sat in and I cried halfway through the process. I realized at that moment that I really did have cancer and this was not a dream. It was going to be a fight.
Describe your treatment process? Did you face any obstacles during this process? I had blood drawn weekly before chemo. I was given the harshest chemotherapy available Adrynmicyn (Red Devil) that was deemed best suited for my aggressive breast cancer. I had 6 rounds of that and then 15 rounds of chemotherapy (Taxol). I also endured 5 weeks of radiation that took place every day (except the weekends). I faced dehydration and low blood cell counts.
What kind of surgery did you undergo?
I had a bi-lateral mastectomy and lymph-nodes removed from my left arm (because the cancer had spread). Six Days After Surgery
Are you completely recovered?
No. I struggle every day from fatigue, mental sharpness, strength, eyesight and the aches and pains from chemotherapy still haunt me.
How has your life/outlook on life changed after fighting this disease?
I appreciate the life that God has blessed me with, I really don't sweat the small stuff. I am living for the now because tomorrow is not promised to me. I am just grateful and thankful to God for using me to help others. Live, Love and Laugh is my motto.
What have you learned about yourself throughout this journey?
I have learned that I am a really strong-minded person. I am not weak and I can overcome/defeat anyone or anything put before me. What do you wish everyone knew about this disease or something you wish someone had told you?
This journey was Hell for me. I really didn't know what Hell is but this was my Hell. I wish I would have been told about the importance of early detection. Then maybe, just maybe my cancer would not have grown so fast and my treatment would not have been so harsh.
What message would you like to give to women about breast cancer?
I would tell them that this is a journey that no one wants to take but if you have to face it, fight. FIGHT HARD and never give up! You can win. Early detection is everything. Become an advocate for your own help.
What do you believe was the key to your success?
My mental state was to smile at the devil in the midst of adversity. Laughter and smiles made a difference. Having a supportive work environment at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) (WFMO) made a huge difference. There was no stress, they just wanted me to focus on getting better. My mother was there each and every step of the way. She was my strength when I didn't have any in me. She assured me that I wasn't going to die and that I could do it. She never let me give up even when I wanted too,. She said "NO, we are going to fight this!" It was because of her strength that I pushed through the times when I didn't have the strength.
What organizations were the most helpful to you?
John Hopkins and the National Institutes of Health
Does your insurance cover the costs of your treatment? If not, how do you manage the costs of your treatment?
My health insurance didn't cover everything because I chose to have John Hopkins treat me and they were out of my network. I don't regret that decision because the staff at John Hopkins saved my life. There is no bill that amounts to my life. Now I am paying massive medical bills. I guess this is just another part of my journey.
Why did you choose John Hopkins knowing that they were out of your network?
My close friend who is a doctor, helped me compile a list of providers to choose from. I visited a few on my list. I made my decision after visiting John Hopkins. I was so relieved when I saw how prepared they were for my visit. That was the main reason I decided to go with them. When you are fighting for your life you want to feel confident with your treatment center. I felt that way with them.
What are you doing toward raising awareness about breast cancer?
I do speaking engagements, I go wherever I am requested. I communicate through social media. My main goal is to stress the importance of early detection and living a Healthy Lifestyle. I started a non-profit organization called Purpose Driven, Lives Saved Inc. to promote healthy lifestyles in our kids We call it, fighting the fight before you have too. I don't want to see anyone go through what I went through.
Sweetluv's breast cancer journey is filled with courage, strength, determination and faith. Everyone's journey/story is not the same. I believe that it is important to know you are not alone. Lisa's story serves as an inspiration to me. She is a breast cancer survivor who fought this horrible disease 3 years ago and defeated it. She is now providing help, support and information to breast cancer patients and survivors. She has written a book "Walking By Faith, The Fight Against Cancer" that depicts the journey of several woman as they described their experience with breast cancer from the diagnoses, surgeries and treatments. It is a beautifully written book.
Because of mounting medical expenses, a friend of hers suggested she establish a gofundme page. Lisa created "Sweetluv's Fight" to help offset some of her out-of-pocket expenses. Sweetluv is a very proud and self-sufficient woman, who is not looking for a handout (but she could use a little help). As a mother of a child with serious medical issues I can totally relate to drowning in medical bills. Please take a moment and check out her page. If you can, leave a donation (any amount will be greatly appreciated) and a note of encouragement. I totally support her in her journey to continue fighting cancer and her fundraising page.
Thank you Sweetluv for sharing your story. Please click on any of the social media links below to get keep up-to-date news on Lisa and her journey or to drop her message. She wants all breast cancer survivors to know they are not alone.
Sources: Breast Cancer Survivor – Interview Questions (2012). Susan G. Komen Sacramento Valley. Retrieved from http://komensacramento.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/survivor-questions.pdf Multiplicityme2too (2013, May 5). Newbirth Wildflower. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oo7ZEfrX90 All photos property of Lisa Thompson, please do not use without her permission.
